Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
I
can explain,” he pleaded while securing his towel around his waist. “It’s not as bad as it looks—although, it looks pretty bad.”
“Well, that certainly doesn’t sound good,” Mia’s muffled voice cried out from the carpet. For a brief moment I’d forgotten she was still there.
I picked up the phone. “Sorry, Mia, I have to go.”
“But—”
I ended the call. Still simmering with anger, I haphazardly put on my clothes and threw my phone and charger into my bag. The last thing I needed right now was to be emotionally tied up with a guy who was still hung up on his ex. His re-ex. Or ex-ex. Specifically the person who he was dating before me, and then had gone back to sometime after we’d broken up, to date again. He was going to marry her, dating me back then only as a rebound. I don’t know why this had me worked up so much given our time together in college was so far in the past, but it did. My stomach turned sour thinking about how he’d given me hope that maybe we were
meant to be together this second time. He’d probably made her think the same thing.
A fresh wound to the heart during a critical midterm season. Fantastic.
“We’re over, her and me. We broke up a few months ago.”
So this was a fresh breakup? Even worse. That did not bode well for us, especially given his history of repeat dating.
Crossing my arms, I said, “You probably thought you two were over in college too. But then later you put a ring on her finger.”
He pursed his lips. “We were over, and yes, we started dating again years later, because we saw each other at our ten-year high school reunion and had a fun time together. She pursued me hard and it was flattering, to be honest, because I hadn’t really dated much since college. But as we spent more time with each other, it was clear we’d both changed, and not in ways that were compatible.” He retucked his towel to tighten it. “I’d finally gotten my act together professionally by going back to school for my PhD, and she was high on the corporate ladder at an insurance company, being groomed for an executive position. She nagged me all the time about finishing my PhD quickly so I could get a
real
job, and called me lazy pretty much every day. Our adult lives diverged, and we were more different than ever before.”
He continued. “I ended it officially a few months ago. We hooked up a few times while we were broken up though.” Jake bit his lower lip, then ran his fingers through his damp hair. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that last part. I don’t suppose
it would make it better if I told you that she was the one who bought the framed photo and put it on my shelf?”
Um, no. “That might actually be worse.” I shook my head. I didn’t want to use the term “lazy,” especially after he mentioned how it hurt his feelings, but was it really that hard to get rid of a framed photo from your shelf?
There was something else about what he said that bugged me. “So, she pursued you after your reunion? And in high school she pursued you then too?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Why?”
“Have
you
ever pursued someone romantically, or have you always just gone with the flow? Were all of your relationships out of convenience?” If his ex made the first moves, and in college if we got together only because we’d both broken up with our significant others and it was super convenient for both of us, what did that mean for us now? I’d found myself in his class by chance and—oh God, was this
only
dating of convenience? Did he even know how to passionately pursue anything?
I was not going to be part of this . . . whatever this was. A game? An unhealthy psychological pattern? No way. Not me.
My heart constricted inside my chest. “I’m sorry, this thing between us has to end. It’s not working for me,” I blurted. “I have midterms to study for and an author event coming up. I need to go.”
“Wait!” Jake was still in his towel, salt-and-pepper hair glistening, with water droplets trickling down his chest. Damn, I needed to get out of here before I outright lost my mind.
I grabbed my bag and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you around.”
Platonically.
Jake took hold of my arm and tugged gently. “Okay, please don’t forget to drop the class. They’re strict about that and appeals after the final drop date rarely get approved. I don’t want you to get penalized again.”
Right. The CS class. I’d almost forgotten. All the points Mia had made about why I should keep the class migrated from the back of my mind to the front. She was right. In Fundamentals of Code I was learning something new. The coursework and lectures were interesting, challenging, and rewarding. And getting an interview for that coveted internship at a company rated “Best Place to Work” by
Forbes
and
Time
, that would be a solid bonus. If Jake and I were finished with . . . whatever this was between us . . . maybe this college do-over would prove to be worth the time and effort if I stuck with computer science.
My mind was made up. And the looming deadline helped propel me into action.
“I’m keeping the CS class.”
Jake’s eyes opened wide. “You what?”
My chest swelled with conviction. “I’m keeping the class. I’m going to do my best, study hard, try to ace the exam, and then see what happens with that internship.”
He frowned. “And what about us?” His downturned lips looked sadder than I’d ever seen them before.
Well, that really was the million-dollar question. Did I wish things were less complicated and I could ravage him right now, with no strings attached, yanking off his towel
and pretending I was a sexy matador? Yes. But that wasn’t how the real world worked, and I had to think about what was best for me. “Truthfully, I don’t know. But for now, we’re back to the way it was just a few days ago, TA and student. Back to boundaries.” I took a step back to symbolically show that I would practice what I preached. No more special closed-door office hours. No more spending the night. None of that anymore.
Jake walked me to the front door, and spoke once he’d unlocked the dead bolts. “Good luck with exams. And let me know if you need anything. I’ve been pretty busy lately so you might not see me around as much, but maybe it’s for the better, so we can focus on what’s important.”
I nodded. It hurt my heart to say goodbye after we’d had a few days of carefree fun, but it was time to get back to reality. “Bye, Jake.”
He looked at the floor. “I hope to see you around. And I hope you get the internship.”
The porch lights flicked on as he closed the door, and a movement at the window caused me to turn my head. It was Jake’s dog and cat, peering at me through the long cream-colored drapes. I waved at them, offering them a sad smile, then scampered down the steps.