Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Twelve and a Half Years Ago
T
he Asian Student Association chartered a bus to Manhattan so members could visit NYU’s and Columbia’s campuses, giving us an opportunity to watch the undergraduate Korean Student Association culture shows for each school. The events took place on Friday night and Saturday night on the same February weekend. It was my sophomore year, and my very first time visiting the city.
Of course, as soon as the bus rolled into Midtown Manhattan, we went straight to Koreatown to eat Korean barbecue on Thirty-Second Street.
“What does A-Y-C-E mean?” I asked, crossing and rubbing my upper arms with my mittened hands.
Some of the Korean guys from my school laughed. The club president joked, “All you can eat. Are you sure you’re even Korean?”
My face grew hot even though the temperature outside was freezing. Presumably this Asian organization was for
students who wanted to connect with Asian culture, and for meeting other people who shared a common heritage, which was important to me. But oddly, the more I hung out with other Koreans, the less Asian I felt. To my friends growing up, I was very Korean. But to the other members of ASA, I was super Americanized. I’d been to Seoul only once. I wasn’t fluent in Korean by any means and Carlthorpe didn’t offer it as a language option. Mia was fluent, but she and I rarely spoke it. And maybe the worst tragedy of all, I hadn’t actually been to any K-BBQ places in a big city, hence my ignorance of AYCE.
“There are all types of Koreans in the diaspora, as you should know,” I argued.
Mia chimed in, “At least she’s not obnoxiously overdoing the K-pop fandom like you.” She gestured to his bleached floppy hair, which got a big laugh from everyone and ended the awkwardness.
The prices of meat on the menu in the window gave me sticker shock. But this was supposed to be a fun trip and I promised myself I would try to enjoy it. Rarely having opportunities to go on weekend trips, if there was any time to not stress about spending, this was it. We were in New York City!
The burning stomach pain in my mid-abdomen came roaring back, likely caused by my money-related worrying. I winced and squeezed my eyes shut, breathing through the agony. I popped an antacid and prayed the discomfort would subside for the rest of the trip.
Mia locked her arm into the crook of my elbow. “Sit with me and Andy. And Jake.” She elbowed me in the ribs.
Andrew Won was in a few of my classes. He was the smoker, stoner, drinker type that was as bad boy as guys at Carlthorpe got, the kind of guy Mia swore she would stop dating. He was the best friend of Jake Cho, the guy I’d had a heart-eye-emoji crush on since the day I joined ASA, but had done nothing about since I had a longtime, long-distance boyfriend at the time. There was no one specific thing that made him so attractive to me. He was lean, bordering on scrawny, and was always spending his time and energy on dozens of side hustles and hobbies, from making boba tea and selling it from his dorm window, to brewing beer in his closet, to selling cheaper, higher-quality Carlthorpe merch than the bookstore carried from his trunk. He was enterprising, and so busy that he never seemed to have time at all to, say, have a steady girlfriend.
At a table for four, Mia and I sat across from each other, and Andrew plopped down next to Mia, leaving the seat next to me open for Jake. Once we’d ordered and received our first round of drinks, it struck me that the way we were configured was almost like we were double-dating.
The food hadn’t come by the time we finished off a second bottle of soju, and by then Mia was hanging on to every slurred word out of Andrew’s mouth. Jake and I were enjoying each other’s company too, but we weren’t nearly as wasted as our tablemates.
Finally, the server brought out a large tray of assorted banchan, along with a large white platter covered with thin slices of uncooked beef. “Bulgogi imnida!” She turned on our grill and placed the little bowls of vegetables in front of
us. Rather than offer us duplicate sets of banchan for each side of the table, she instead plunked down fifteen unique side dishes. My favorites were cucumber kimchi, anchovies, and spinach. Mia handed those to me and swapped them for the spicier ones colored orange and flaming red from the hot pepper powder.
The server placed the individual strips of beef on the grill and the meat sizzled as soon as it made contact with the metal grate. The one fact I knew about eating meat from an indoor grill at a Korean restaurant: your hair and clothes would smell like burned meat until they were washed. The smoky, charred scent would infuse into hair strands as the night wore on, like a potent essential oil. I pulled my hair into a loose bun, hoping to minimize the surface area of the beef eau de cologne.
“Jal mogosimnida!” The server put the metal tongs next to me and then walked away.
Mia laughed. “She picked you to cook the rest.”
Jake smirked at me. “As Obi-Wan said, ‘You were the chosen one!’”
Nerdy Star Wars jokes always had a special place in my heart, and here he was, winning me over with one of the corniest ones.
“Well, if I have to cook this for everyone, you need to order me some soju.” I smirked right back at him. Andrew was the only one who was old enough to buy alcohol, but he was also fluent in Korean and had a knack for charming older women, specifically Korean waitstaff ajummas. No one checked our IDs. Within seconds after ordering, the server brought over a new bottle of soju to our table.
I worked on the meat while Andrew poured my next drink. The fragrant smells of sesame oil and garlic wafted around us as I flipped the crackling bulgogi. Jake took my plate and passed it to Mia and Andrew, asking them for a sampling of the side dishes from the other side of the table. “Lily gets first dibs. She’s doing manual labor for us, the least we can do is pay her in banchan units.”
Mia, now fully tipsy and leaning into Andrew’s shoulder, widened her eyes at me.
Yes, I know, Mia. Jake is a cute, courteous, charming guy.
Her eyes widened even more.
You better hit that tonight. He’s single now.
Once the bulgogi was divvied up, we all raised our drinks and toasted. Mia clinked cheers. “To the city that never sleeps!”
Lord, we ate so much. After we finished all the meat, Andrew and Jake asked for a bowl of kimchi chigae to split, while Mia and I each had a bowl of rice cake dumpling soup. Dduk mandu guk was my all-time fave and once I decided that loosening the purse strings on this trip wouldn’t kill me, I decided to get a bowl all to myself. Because why the hell not?
Jake asked everyone, “Have you ever tried Korean food in international cities? My family went to Paris and my God, the banchan was so bad. It was a top-rated restaurant too.”
Mia joined in. “I went to Athens with my high school Latin class, and same thing, we tried the Korean food there once because I missed eating it and it was so overpriced and mediocre.” She picked at the few remaining bean sprouts with her chopsticks and devoured them.
Andrew said, “The Korean food in London is okay, but you need to know where to go. It’s also crazy expensive.”
I had traveled to Korea only once, and that was the only time I needed a passport. “I’ve only had Korean food in Korea.” I deadpanned, “The food was great.”
They all laughed, and we all toasted to South Korea for absolutely no reason.
I sighed wistfully as I grabbed a toasted seaweed square. “One day I’d love to go to Spain though, even if the Korean food isn’t good. It’s one of the options for the study abroad program.” It was something I had seriously considered and one of the few things keeping me at Carlthorpe. They had a world-renowned overseas program for college juniors and seniors.
Jake’s eyes widened. “Really? It’s something I’ve looked into too. Barcelona or Madrid. Time to use my rusty high school AP Spanish!”
I raised my glass of soju and toasted to us. If Jake went to Spain too, wow, even better. Knowing someone else there would be so much more fun.
“Well, I’m stuffed.” Andrew fell back into the booth seat and rested his head on the padded wall. Mia leaned into his shoulder like the Tower of Pisa and closed her eyes. Andrew’s face beamed. Mia sighed blissfully.
She seemed so happy. I wanted her to be happy.
Mia also looked asleep.
Jake whispered into my ear, “If these two call it a night, want to keep hanging out with me? I want to see more of the city.”
He was so direct and it was exactly what I wanted to do. Of course I’d love to sightsee with Mia too, but she was snoring now, and definitely into Andrew.
“Let’s head out!” Jake barked, jolting the three of us into an upright, startled position. We scooted out of the booth and put on our winter coats. As Andrew and Mia led the way, Jake rested his hands on my shoulders, playfully steering me out of the restaurant. My body shivered at his touch, but I tried to play it off like I was cold from the frigid gusts of wintry air let in from the open front door.
I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I wanted something to happen between us on this trip. We had both gotten out of long-distance relationships, each of us dumped by our insignificant others. I’d been with my high school sweetheart for several years and was just getting used to the idea of being single. Was it too soon to date again? Or was the timing perfect?
It was hard to think of places to go after dinner: we were all so stuffed that dessert was out of the question. I looked up at the sky to see if it was a clear night, and the skyscraper to our left grabbed my attention. It was a place I’d always wanted to visit, and hordes of people streamed in and out of the main entrance. “Have any of you been to the Empire State Building?” I asked.
Everyone shook their heads. Jake searched his pockets for his gloves and knit cap while Andrew and Mia contemplated this sightseeing adventure. I tried to plead my case with Jake’s help.
“Think about all the romantic movie moments you’ve seen or heard about featuring this historical, iconic building!” I boasted.
Jake added, “Like
Superman Two
. The best superhero movie, by the way.”
I laughed. “I was thinking
Sleepless in Seattle
.”
“
Zoolander
?” Jake asked.
“Stop it,” I said.
“
King Kong
.”
I sighed. “
An Affair to Remember
.”
“
Independence Day
,” he teased.
I crossed my arms and quirked a brow. “Why do you even know so many Empire State Building movies?”
Andrew and Mia hugged and remained glued together. “I think we might call it a night,” Mia said. “But it sounds like you two have a lot to talk about that I don’t entirely understand.”
I smiled. “Okay, Jake and I will head back afterward.”
The happy couple walked down the street toward the subway station while Jake and I headed northwest. The Empire State Building wasn’t far away, but it sure felt like it was. The gusts of freezing air pushed against us, slowing our steps. The wind chill made it feel twenty degrees below zero as we gradually made our way to the entrance.
Hundreds of other tourists had the same idea as us, but luckily the line kept moving, not giving me time to balk at the price and bail when we reached the cashier and paid for tickets to the observatory. As I forked over my credit card, I whispered to myself, “This will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
It’s worth it.” Signing the receipt and sending it back under the hole in the Plexiglas, we made our way to the elevator bank, where we waited with ten other people to be taken to eardrum-popping levels.
When the doors opened, Jake asked, “How are you with heights?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t thought about it before. I’d been inside a few lookout towers in various cities I’d visited with my parents, but that wasn’t the same.
“I’ll be fine,” I squeaked as the doors closed. The elevator whooshed upward. Maybe sensing my nervousness, Jake placed his hands on my shoulders again, and as he did that, I leaned back into his chest, shifting my body so my head tucked right under his chin. The elevator was only moderately full because of the limited capacity and everyone wearing big winter coats, so I didn’t need to press against him, but did anyway. Jake didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t budge for the entire ride. Climbing to our destination, Jake’s heart thumped against my back. His breathing sped up, matching mine.
We were the last two visitors to exit. I hesitated because the moment I took a step forward, this physical bond between us would break.
“Go straight ahead,” the attendant said, as if I had no clue how elevator departures worked. Jake chuckled and then nudged me forward.
I followed the others ahead of me down the short walkway and through the glass doors leading to the open-air observation deck. Jake followed me so closely that he stepped on my right heel. If I hadn’t been wearing boots, my shoe would
have come off. “Sorry,” he mumbled as the wind whipped our faces with subzero arctic chill.
“It’s cold,” I whimpered, stating the obvious.
You think, Lily? Your teeth don’t chatter like this usually?
Yes, I was baiting him. And luckily, he obliged. Jake immediately pulled me into a hug and we walked around the perimeter fused as one.
While he held me snug against his chest, I murmured, “Good thing we’re bundled up. I couldn’t help but notice you’re appropriately dressed for the weather. No shorts?”
He looked down at my face and grinned. “Even I have my limits. Andrew said it would be ball-freezing weather.” He pointed to various buildings near and far. “Look! That’s the Chrysler Building. Thirty Rockefeller Plaza. The MetLife Building.”
It was breathtaking. Taking in the panoramic view, it hit me all at once. I belonged here. In New York City. I examined all the historical marker signs, highlighting the locations of key landmarks and pointing at them with “EUREKA!”-level enthusiasm, as if I were an explorer discovering them for the first time. “And there’s Central Park! Times Square! Statue of Liberty! The Brooklyn Bridge!”
On another night, this would have been the perfect romantic moment. But because of the blustery weather, this experience had less of a romantic comedy movie vibe than I would have liked.
Jake read my mind. He whispered into my ear, “You know what movie this reminds me of?”
I shuddered.
Please tell me.
“
Elf
,” he breathed heavily.
I tried to hold my laughter in, but I couldn’t. I giggled and pulled his knit cap down over his nose. “
Elf
? Really?”
He lifted his hat with his thumbs and looked me in the eyes. “I happen to love
Elf
, it’s the ultimate fish-out-of-water story. Don’t you dare steal this joy away from me.”
There was something about Jake that I found irresistible. He was funny. Smart. He pushed all the right buttons and appreciated me for who I was. He awakened all my senses . . . or maybe that was the freezing temperature and high altitude.
Without trying to overthink it, I decided that catching him off guard would be the way to combat his coyness. It would let me gauge if he liked me as much as I adored him.
Taking a deep breath in and out, I stood on the balls of my feet and pulled on his coat lapels. His eyes widened and he shut up about
Elf
while bringing his head down to my eye level. Closing my eyes, and without hesitation, I gently pressed my lips on his. Icy tingles ran through my body, clashing with the heat radiating from overactive nerves. My body was a complete mess, but I loved every icy-hot second of our very first kiss.
I released Jake’s woolly collar from my clenched fists and took a small step back. Jake said, “You know there are actually a few great kissing scenes in
Elf
.”
Oh God. Before I could declare this an epic fail, he pulled me in by the waist. “I’ll stop with the jokes now, I’m just nervous,” he whispered. Then leaning down, his mouth parted my lips, sending shivers down my spine. His kisses were
soft at first, and then each one burned with more intensity, making me dizzy.
Our teeth slightly chattered as we talked about traveling to Europe, seeing views like this from the Eiffel Tower and the London Eye. That was the night we began dating. Overlooking the magical, romantic Manhattan skyline, with a world of possibilities around us, we hugged each other tight.