Chapter 31: Evan
EVAN
I dream about her. One of those half-awake meanderings of the mind after my eyes have blinked open a couple times to clench shut again against the spill of sunlight across my face. It’s not so much a dream as a memory of something that never happened, indistinct and evaporating before I can consciously hold on to it. But we’re together, and when my brain finally rocks me awake, I’m reminded there’s no sleeping this one off. I let her go. And dreams are all I have left.
Rolling over, I grab my phone from the nightstand to check the time. The screen is full of texts from Gen. It takes me a minute to get up to speed, not understanding what I’m reading because I’m seeing it in reverse order. Only the most recent show up first, so I scroll up to read them properly.
Gen:
Randall showed up here last night.
Gen:
Screaming on my front lawn.
Gen:
Threw a beer bottle at my window.
That one slaps any lingering grogginess from my head.
Gen:
Dad chased him off with a shotgun.
Gen:
Please, we need to talk.
I’m out of bed and throwing on the first shirt and pair of shorts I find.
Gen:
I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.
Gen:
Things have changed. Meet me at our spot as soon as you get this. You owe me that much.
Already, I’m regretting how I went at her yesterday, especially considering everything she’d already been through. I could have done it better. Gently. Now she sounds like she’s afraid I’d ignore her, and that’s never what I wanted. Distance, yeah. Enough for both of us to get used to the idea of living our own lives. So she could get on with hers without interference from me. But thinking she’d have to beg for my help when she’s in trouble? That’s an awful feeling.
I’m out the door only minutes later, peeling out of the driveway on my motorcycle. When I arrive at the narrow path that cuts through the trees to the hidden beach, Gen is already there, wearing a pair of cutoffs and a loose red T-shirt. She’s on a blanket just above the tide line, staring at the waves.
“Hey,” I say, announcing myself as I approach. “You okay? What happened?”
She doesn’t stand, but encourages me to sit. “I’m fine. Good thing we didn’t have any loose pavers lying around or we might have had you out installing new windows.”
“I’m serious.” I search her face, but she seems okay. Just a little tired. “Your messages sounded—”
“Right.” She ducks her head. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine.” When Gen won’t look at me, I bow to meet her eyes. “I mean it, it’s cool. You need me, I’m here. No problem.”
After a breath, her shoulders relax. Her finger draws aimless patterns in the sand as she explains what exactly
went on last night. Finding the ranting lunatic in her yard. Ronan West walking out to meet him like Dirty Harry.
“So then Dad called the sheriff and told him to get his ass down to the station. They brought me in at the crack of dawn to fill out a petition for a restraining order. We hung around for a while making a formal police report while Sheriff Nixon had Randall brought in. He was arrested for drunk driving, and they put him on leave.” A glint of vindication lights her expression. “They have to do a whole internal investigation thing, but Dad says he’s getting canned.”
“Good.” It’s about time. I get why it didn’t go that way in the first place, but at least something’s finally being done about that guy. Hopefully, it brings Gen some peace of mind. “Do you see now that none of his problems were your fault?”
She slides me a sarcastic side-eye. “Yeah.”
“Feel better?”
“If this keeps him away, sure. I’m honestly tired of thinking about him.”
“He’s gotten more of your time than he deserved.”
“Exactly.”
I’m glad she told me, and I’m relieved that she’s alright. If I’d heard about it through the rumor mill, I would’ve been making a pass by Randall’s house, and then there’d be nobody to talk some sense into me. Anyway, she deserves to catch a break. This thing’s had a hold of her for more than a year.
As much as I want to, I don’t know, console her, keep her company, the longer we sit here, the less I know what to say or how to act. I basically dumped her last night, so I can’t imagine she wants me here any longer than necessary.
“Yeah, so I’ll head out.” I climb to my feet. “Leave you be.”
She jumps up after me. “I’m not done. I didn’t call you out here just to
tell you about Randall.”
My heart clenches. I’m not sure I can go another round about us today. Last night was brutal. Even now, I’m not sure how I managed to walk out of there without losing my nerve. If we have to rehash the whole argument, I can’t be certain my resolve will hold. I’ve never been good at saying no to her.
“I stopped for coffee with Harrison on the way here.”
Well, then. There it is.
I swallow the hysterical laughter that bubbles in my throat. Was I really just thinking she’d come here asking me back when I all but shoved her at another man yesterday? Idiot. Gen’s got everything going for her. She doesn’t need my dumb ass making things harder. But this is good, actually. It takes all the wishful thinking and foolish notions right off the table.
“He’s a stand-up guy,” I tell her.
“He is.”
“Still a doofus.” Alright, maybe I can’t help myself. “But he’s nice, polite. Probably sorts his laundry according to the care instructions, so you won’t have to worry about him shrinking your clothes.”
Gen smirks, biting her lip as she turns her head. “You are so weird sometimes.”
“Your kids are going to be short, though. He’s got kind of an odd-shaped head too. That might be hereditary. You should probably put them in karate or something. Get them into boxing. With a cranium like that, they’re gonna need to know how to defend themselves.”
Exasperated, she shakes her head. “Will you stop?” Still, she’s beaming. “I told him I couldn’t see him anymore.”
Our gazes lock. “Why would you do that?”
“Because.” Gen’s smile is so infectious, I can’t help but mimic her. “I told him I was in love with Evan Hartley.”
I can feel my heartbeat in my face. Yet somehow I still manage to play it cool. “That’s so strange, ’cause I
know that guy.”
“Uh-huh.” There’s a bizarre gleam in her eyes that’s almost got me frightened. “Took me a little while, but as it turns out, I’ve been in love with him for a long time.”
Part of me wants to throw her over my shoulder and toss caution to the wind, but we ended up here for a reason.
“What about Trina’s coke? You spent the night in jail because of me,” I remind her. “If Randall hadn’t been the one who arrested you, or your dad wasn’t friends with the sheriff, maybe the whole thing doesn’t go away so easy.”
“No, see.” She holds one finger in the air. “I’ve decided I reject your premise.”
She’s so cute sometimes. “Really?”
“Indeed.” She nods sharply. “I already told you, I’m glad I went out with Trina. You said I needed to see that I could go out and have a good time without losing control. And I did. I proved a lot to myself that night. Like I said before, nothing about how it ended was your fault.”
When my expression reveals I’m less than convinced, she digs in.
“You and I could go back to single digits trying to take the blame for everything that ever happened to either of us. It’s a zero-sum game. None of it is useful.”
“It worries me that you’re starting to make sense,” I say, smothering a grin.
“I had to convince myself I’d really changed. To me, that night shows I have. And I did it with you in my life. You know what else? You’ve changed too. For most of the time I’ve known you, you’ve had this chip on your shoulder. Fighting the whole world on a thousand fronts, always ready to throw a punch before it threw one at you. I don’t see that anymore. Like it or not, Evan, you’ve mellowed in your old age.”
“Jesus …” I grab my chest. “Right
for the heart, Fred.”
She shrugs at me. “It’s called growth. Get over it.”
I don’t know where this new energy is coming from, but I don’t hate it. She’s alive, happy. Glowing with that old fire and verve. Like she could turn sand to glass with a wink.
“We’ve grown as a couple,” she continues. “But I’m hoping we can grow a little more.”
This feels like being blindfolded, as if she’s walking me around in the dark and I’m following her, a little terrified and expectant. She’s up to something. Something both terrible and exciting. It’s like that first time watching her take a running leap off the pier, but this time she’s got me by the hand.
“I’ve been sitting here for a while. And I was thinking …” Gen steps closer and puts her hands against my chest. My muscles quiver beneath her palms. We both know what her touch does to me. “I think you should probably marry me.”
My mouth goes dry. “That right?”
“Make a whole bunch of babies.”
“An entire bunch?” I can’t feel my fingers. The sounds of the ocean turn to a sharp ringing in my ears as my chest expands with a rush of pure, unfiltered joy.
“I’ll run Mackenzie’s hotel, and you can be the stay-at-home dad raising our seven kids.”
Going quiet for a beat, Gen looks up at me through thick lashes.
Then she holds out a red Blow Pop.
“If you want,” she says impishly, though her expression conveys utter sincerity, “this is me asking.”
I’m not even sure if I’m still standing. But I’m not a moron, either. “Yeah, I want.”
Fingers tugging my shirt, she leans up to press her lips to mine. I’m still half stunned for a few seconds before my brain reboots and I wrap my arms around her, kissing her deeply. This amazing, absurd woman who has no idea what she’s getting
herself into.
“You’re going to get sick of how much I love you,” I tell her, brushing her hair off her shoulders. “Totally disgusted with it.”
“I’ll take that bet.” She tips her head to smile at me, then tries to kiss me again.
“Listen.” I hold her still. “Don’t get me wrong, I love this plan. Whatever you had for breakfast, let’s stick with that. But what about …” Hell, I don’t know how to say it. “You know, your dad. And your brothers. I’m pretty sure they have a hole dug somewhere with my name on it.”
“What about your brother?” she counters. “Who cares. They’ll come around or they won’t. You’re what I want. The only thing I’ve ever asked for. I think I’m kind of entitled at this point.”
“Well, I have a feeling Cooper will come around sooner than you think.”
For the first time in my life, I can picture my future more than a few days out. A sense of family and security. Permanence. Me and Gen, married and blissfully happy. I’m catching glimpses of what waking up to someone feels like, knowing they aren’t rushing to sneak out with their shoes in their hands.
“Seriously. We’re doing this?” I ask roughly. “Because if you think you had to come up with some grand gesture to get me back, you could have just shown me your tits. I would’ve caved right away. No question.” I chew on the inside of my cheek. “I don’t want you to think we need to get married to prove this is real.”
She flashes a cocky grin. “Trust me, I’ve known I’ve had you whipped since seventh grade.”
“See.” With my arms around her, I slide my hands into her back pockets to grab her ass. “You think that’s an insult, but I don’t mind a bit. My masculinity is entirely intact. I’d follow this ass anywhere.”
This time when she tries to kiss me, I
let her. She does me in when she bites my lip. By then, I’ve got no sense left. Instead, I wrap my arms under her thighs to lift her up around my hips as we kiss.
How did I ever think I could live without this? Her skin under my palms. Her taste on my tongue. The way my heart beats almost painfully fast when she weaves her fingers into my hair and pulls.
This woman.
As Gen begins to breathe harder, sliding her tongue in my mouth to tangle with mine, I shove my hand up her shirt to grab a handful of her breast. She arches into my hand, grinding herself on me. I’m hard and pushing against the zipper of my shorts as she scrapes her teeth against the stubble on my chin and runs her tongue down my neck.
“Wait.” She lowers her legs to stand. “Get in the backseat of my car.”
I stare at her. “You know, if a cop comes by, this time we’ll both end up spending a night in jail.”
“Maybe. But I’ll take my chances.” She plants a sweet kiss on my cheek. “Gotta be a bad girl some of the time, right?”
Good enough for me. Because I’ll take her any way I can.
Forever.