Chapter Twenty-Seven: Moving Forward
chapter twenty-seven
MOVING FORWARD
Kitty
L
ife shifts after the interview with Brit. My ideals shift along with it. I love what I do, and I love my authentic fans, but I need separation from the social media onslaught. So Fancy takes over posting on my socials, which means I can focus on taking care of my clients. I still interact with my followers, but I don’t want that part of my job to influence the way I feel about myself, or what I do, so I try to let go of some of the responsibility. I take on what I need to and give myself space from the rest.
A few weeks after the interview, I help move my sister into her new apartment in the city with the assistance of Miles and Josh. It’s a busy day full of lifting boxes and unpacking, but it’s totally worth it to see my sister so excited for her future.
Once we’re finished, Miles and I head back to his place, which is only a few blocks away. Prince Francis and Wilfred appear at the end of the hall as Miles ushers me inside the front door. They come in for pets and love, then head for the kitchen. I’ve taken
to bringing Prince Francis along when I stay at Miles’s place, since he and Wilfred get along so well. We’ve found that adding Herman to the dynamic isn’t as seamless, since Prince Francis gets jealous. But it’s a relationship work in progress.
I follow Miles down the hall, and we feed our fur babies before he grabs a beer for himself and glass of wine for me. We should probably shower, but a drink on the couch seems like a good way to decompress.
“How do you think your mom is going to handle Hattie’s move?” Miles asks as he takes the cushion beside mine.
“She had friends over when we called to give her a virtual tour of the apartment, and that feels like a big step in the right direction.” I sip my wine, considering how different things have been over the past few months. How my mom’s social life has flourished recently. “I think . . . I’ve been using my mom as a crutch.”
“How do you mean?” Miles stretches his arm along the back of the couch and fingers the end of my ponytail.
“My mom isn’t the one who had a problem moving on. It’s been me. I didn’t want things to change, or maybe I made it difficult for her to feel like she could change, so nothing did. But over the past few months she’s started to live again. She’s spending more time with friends. Doing different things, developing new hobbies. I feel like I’ve been holding her back this whole time.” And recently she stopped setting a place for Dad at the table. The first time it happened I was shocked, thinking maybe she just forgot. I didn’t set the place, though. And then it happened
the next time we sat down for a meal, and the next, and the next.
Miles strokes my cheek with a single finger. “It’s not fair for you to shoulder the blame for that. Or for you to take responsibility for your mother’s lack of action until now. Maybe the changes in
your
life have inspired her to make changes in her own. From what I’ve seen, you’re a very tight family, and it seems a lot more likely that it wasn’t one-sided. You were all holding each other up, and sometimes when people lean on each other too much, they can’t step back and see how it’s impacting them. But your career is taking off, and Hattie is starting hers, so I’m guessing your mom saw you taking steps forward and maybe realized she could do the same. You can only make your own choices, Kitty, and the ones you’ve been making since I met you have all been in line with supporting the people you love, and learning how to give yourself permission to live your own life.”
“How do you always know exactly what to say?”
“I don’t. I just know what I see in you, and that’s an amazing, caring, selfless woman who has spent a lot of time putting her family’s needs ahead of her own. I get that some of that was based on guilt over what happened to your dad. But you were a teenager who was trying to make dinner and not step on your family pet. If you’d had any idea your dad was in trouble, you would have dropped everything.” He sweeps his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away tears.
“I don’t know why I’m so emotional.”
“Because things are changing, and it might be for the better for everyone, but it doesn’t mean it stops being scary, or hard.”
I cover his hand with mine. “I’m so glad you came into my life when you did. You’re the one who made me see that sometimes change is exactly what we need.”
“The feeling is completely mutual, in case you were wondering. And if you’re interested in making any additional big changes, you’re always welcome to take up the right side of my bed permanently.” He gives me a lopsided, slightly uncertain smile.
“Are you inviting me to move in with you?” My stomach does a somersault, and my heart stutters.
“I’m extending an open invitation for whenever you’re ready for more change.” He cups my face between his palms. “In case you need reminding, I love you, Kitty. My favorite days are the ones where I wake up with you beside me.”
“I love you, too. And I’d absolutely love to claim the right side of your bed permanently. I’ll happily deal with a cat who gets jealous when we spoon and waking up to Wilfred breathing in my face.”
He dips down and presses his lips to mine. I feel his love, not just in his words and his kiss, but right down to my soul.