12. Emotional Support
12
Emotional Support
THE PHONE RANG four and a half times before Rose picked up.
“Oh thank
god
you called. I was beginning to worry the town swallowed you up,” she said. In the background, I could hear bathroom noises, and realized that she must’ve been . . . at
work
?
I checked my watch. “What’re you still doing at the office? Isn’t this your lunch?”
“
And
Saturday,” she said with a tragic sigh. “But ohmy
god
, I have some news—but first, I want to ask how you’re doing. How’s the family? Is everything . . . well, not
fine
because of course not, but is everything fine?”
“As fine as it can be.” I flopped onto the bed in the Violet Suite. It creaked loudly. I would’ve hated to be in one of the neighboring rooms if any honeymooners ever got this suite. The hinges needed some WD-40 and duct tape. “Alice is rearing for a fight, but I figured she would be. We haven’t really seen eye to eye in a few years.”
“Yeah, my money’s on Alice—no offense.”
“You haven’t even met her! And I’m your best friend!”
“Yes, and I love you, but you’re about as threatening as a chipmunk.”
“Rude,” I said, but I didn’t say she was wrong. Because she wasn’t. Of all the fights Alice and I had had over the course of our contentious relationship, Alice had won the majority of them. “Though she probably could murder me and never get caught. She did go to Duke for forensic chemistry.”
“Wow, so badass. And your brother’s a swanky tech bro—what happened to you?”
“Unequivocal failure,” I replied bluntly. “And apparently the only one who’s willing to prepare Dad’s funeral as he planned out in his will.”
“That is
so
metal.”
“It’s exhausting.” I recounted to Rose what I needed to do, and she listened sagely as I ranted about the wildflowers, and Elvis, and murders of crows, and the party supplies. I told her about the Waffle House conversation this morning, and how I was saddled with doing all of it by myself. “I mean, they have stuff to do, too, but—so do I!”
“Maybe it’s too hard for them.”
“It’s hard for me, too.”
Rose gave a hard sigh. “Yeah, I know, but you’re the big sister, right? You’ve always been really good at pushing through whatever feelings you have and getting things done. I mean, remember when that guy—Quinn—stood you up on a date and you had to finish edits for
Midnight Matinee
in like twelve hours?”
“Quinn sucked.”
On a long laundry list of guys that I fell for that sucked.
“You pushed through and
aced
those edits. And the time our toilet literally exploded and you fixed it with the power of YouTube
and sheer determination
while on deadline
. And the time I got that horrendous stomach bug and you ended up making ends meet by writing all those terrible self-help articles and paying all the bills for
three months
. You just do things. You finish them. You pull through.”
“Tell that to Ann’s book I didn’t finish.”
“One thing in a
very
shitty year.”
“Wish I could tell Ann’s agent that. I’m just waiting for Molly to call me again once Ann finds out to tell me all the things I already know—how I’m a failure, how Ann should never have put her trust me, how the
one job
I had was the one I failed at and I know I failed and—”
“And
as I said
, you’ve had a very shitty year. You’re
good
, Florence! You’re reliable. Most of the time. Maybe your family doesn’t realize you want help with your dad’s funeral.”
At the mention of help, I bristled. “Who said help? I don’t need
help
. And anyway, what are you doing in the offices on a Saturday?” I wanted to change the subject, to get away from the things that I might’ve once been good at but wasn’t anymore. Which, as it turned out, happened to be everything. “And are you—are you in a stall?”
“Absolutely. You know how my boss hates me talking on the phone in the office,” she added in a hushed tone. “And everything is
super
nuts today over here. Jessica Stone’s freaking out over her clothing line launch, so my boss called us all here to work, on our Saturday, because apparently she’s auditioning for a role in the remake of
The Devil Wears Prada
.”
“Yikes.”
“But that’s not the
ohmygod
part. You would not believe what happened yesterday.”
I rolled over on the bed, and the springs creaked. I stared up at the speckled ceiling. “You . . . got a promotion?”
“Benji Andor got hit by a
car
.”
Ben
.
I bolted up in bed. “He did?”
“Yes! You know Erin? At Falcon House? Yeah, she saw it happen. Like, you know right in front of the building? The intersection? She happened to look up at the
exact
right time—and
wham
! She’s so distraught. Like,
so
distraught. Poor thing. I’m getting drinks with her tonight to see how she’s
really
doing—maybe I can finally convince her to leave publishing. She could do
so
much better literally anywhere else.”
I was still way back on Ben Andor getting hit by a car. Blood everywhere. For some reason, that one scene from
Meet Joe Black
played in my head, over and over again, but instead of Brad Pitt, it was Benji Andor in a dark blue suit and striped tie being flung across the road again and again and again—like a football game’s fourth-quarter touchdown instant replay.
So he really
was
dead. I mean—of course he was. But it also meant I wasn’t going crazy. That he was actually here, haunting me. He hadn’t showed up until last night. And that meant he was sticking around because his unfinished business had something to do with me.
“
Shit
,” I whispered, because there was only one thing it could be. The
Jumanji
drums began to play in my head, coming from my backpack where I left my laptop. A dirge of absolute dread.
“I
know
,” Rose agreed. “The world lost another fine ass.”
“Oh my god.”
“I know—oh,
shit
,” she muttered, and I heard her cover her phone with her hand so what she yelled was a little muffled. “Um—yes, it’s me! I’ll be out in a minute, Tanya.”
There was a voice on the other side, and then the clip of heels out of the bathroom.
Rose picked up the phone a moment later with a morose tone. “The boss just came to check on me. I gotta go—but if you need me, let me know, okay? I’ll catch the next flight down and be there with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I’m offering. I’ll be your emotional support best friend. I can get some wine and you can go show me around your weird little town.”
That sounded so tempting, but plane tickets were expensive, and she was needed at her job. I’d be fine. I always was. “Nah, but thank you, though.”
“You don’t have to do everything alone, Florence.”
“I’ve got so much baggage, I’m never alone,” I replied jokingly, and she laughed.
“You’re ridiculous. Love you.”
“Love you more.”
I waited for her to hang up, and flopped back down on the squeaky bed. Having some help would be nice, but I didn’t need it. Xavier Day was my father. His funeral was
my
responsibility. So instead I pulled up Google on my phone and punched in where to find the nearest flower shop. I could do things on my own—I didn’t need to bother anyone else. Alice was up to her gills in funeral preparations and Carver had his own job and Mom—Mom couldn’t do everything.
I wasn’t sure if my siblings could see it, but she was barely holding herself together.
No, this was my job. I was the eldest. I could do this. Alone.
I had for this long, anyway.